Discovery

Why I am learning Chinese (Part 2)

For one of my very first blog posts I wrote was about why I am learning Chinese. Last week I had my final lesson for the semester and I thought I would reflect on what I have achieved in the past year.

First up, my goal was to be able to go out for dinner with my Chinese friends and speak with them in their language rather than forcing them to converse in mine. A very ambitious goal! The old adage that the more I learn, the more I realise I know so little, is very true.

However, I am pleased with what I have achieved. I have significantly increased my vocabulary and can even construct simple sentences. It has been frustrating at times but I can see real progression. In fact, I have to say, I have even enjoyed it!

I am thrilled that I am setting a good example for my son. There were times when we were learning the same theme and could quiz each other. He often corrects my pronunciation! And I’d like to think that I even inspired my husband to start learning. Annoyingly he seems to be mastering it quicker than I. (I am trying hard not to be jealous of this.)

Importantly it has improved the connection I have with my Chinese friends. I sense that maybe they feel more respected and valued as a friend. They seem to enjoy explaining the nuances of certain words and phrases and teaching me new ones. What is particularly interesting is when I show off my latest vocabulary and they laugh and tell me that what have just said is not how real people talk, it is the formal way of saying something and then proceed to teach me the vernacular.

Of course I can’t have any real in-depth conversation with them. Our conversation is limited to basic sentences and as soon as they get more complex the language switches to English as I try to explain.

Learning Chinese has led me to understand and appreciate China better. I can appreciate how a language reflects the culture (or is it culture reflected in the language?). For example the Chinese language has many more words to describe a persons family connections e.g. where English only has sister and brother, Chinese describes whether your sister or brother is older or younger than you (jie jie, mei mei, ge ge and di di respectively), whether your grandparents are your father’s parents (ye ye, nai nai) or mother’s parents (wai gong, wai po). And don’t get me started on the variations for aunt, uncle, cousins and in-laws.

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Learning Chinese has helped me to understand English better too. Or at least reflect on my complete lack of understanding of English grammar rules. If someone asked me to explain the use of nouns, determiners, pronouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, prepositions and conjunctions in a sentence I would be perplexed. I can’t explain it, I just know it.

Someone once told me that while Chinese is hard to learn, once you know the rules it is  easy as you just follow the rules. This is in comparison with learning English which is full of exceptions to the rule. Not true! Chinese also has many exceptions to the rule. This makes it more frustrating to learn because just when you think you understand the teacher tells you about the exceptions. Arrgh!

Despite this, I intend to continue learning Chinese. Next semester I plan to resume attending class. I also want to arrange a more one on one conversational chat with someone once a week. Now I have the basics I need to work on my confidence and actually start speaking the language.

Book Review

Book review: Fall Down 7 Times Get Up 8 by Naoki Higashida

A worthwhile existence lies in playing whatever cards life has dealt you as skillfully as you can.

This book, more than any other in a long time, has made a huge impact on me. I read it a few weeks ago and I still regularly pause to consider the messages I have taken from it.

In Fall Down 7 Times Get Up 8: A young man’s voice from the silence of autism, Naoki Higashida shares his thoughts and experiences as a young man living with autism.

Naoki, born in Kimitsu Japan, was diagnosed with severe autism when he was five. Through the support of his mother he learned to communicate using a handmade alphabet grid. He went on to write The Reason I Jump at age 13 and has since published several books, essays and poems.

Naoki

Photo: © Miki Higashida

I am somewhat embarrassed to admit that until I read this book I truly had not given much thought to the lives of people with autism and similar conditions. Naoiki’s story opened my eyes to the experiences, and more importantly, thoughts of people with autism.

Back in the days when I had no way to communicate at all … I was extremely lonely. People who have never experienced this will go through life never knowing how soul-crushing the condition of wordlessness is.

I know that if I was wordless, if I could not speak or write, I would be extremely frustrated. I would want to stomp, scream, hit out and make any noise I could. And when someone asked what was wrong, how could I explain to them the agony of not being able to tell them how I feel?

Through his reflections on life Naoki shares some excellent advice on how to interact with people with disabilities.

One of the lessons I’m grateful to have learned as an adult is that life serves up hard times to everyone, not just me. …. Many people with disabilities are, I think, kept isolated and insulated from society. Please give those of us with special needs opportunities to learn what’s happening in the wider world without deciding on our behalves – by assuming ‘They won’t understand anything’, or ‘Well, they don’t look interested’. On the surface, a sheltered life spent on your favourite activities might look like paradise, but I believe that unless you come into contact with some of the hardships other people endure, your own personal development will be impaired.

Naoki’s words certainly have caused me to reflect on my own preconceptions and attitudes. Perhaps, the focus should change from asking How can people with special needs fit into our society? to How can we embrace our differences and create a society where everyone benefits from these differences?

The value of a person shouldn’t be fixed solely by his or her skills and talents – or lack of them. It’s how you strive to live well that allows others to understand your awesomeness as a human being.

 

Fall Down 7 Times Get Up 8: A young man’s voice from the silence of autism, Naoki Higashida, translated by KA Yoshida and David Mitchell, New York, Random House, 2017, First edition, ISBN 9780812997392

 

 

 

 

Discovery

Finishing the Great Wall marathon

I did it! I ran 21km and completed The Great Wall (half) Marathon! With seven kilometres of stairs there was a lot of walking as well. Particularly one steep section that was more rocks cemented together than actual stairs.

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I feel so gratified by this achievement, the result of more than just one days hard work. I have been training for months. Building up from struggling to run more than 10 minutes to being able to finish a half marathon.

How did I do this? I had help from a couple of apps, Zen Labs Fitness C25K and 13.1 and Headspace,  the support of family and friends, and finding my mental strength (see my previous post on finding my strength).

I have to admit that this strength left me for a big part of the race. All that was going through my mind was “#*@! what the #*@! was I thinking? I’m a #*@! idiot for thinking this was a #*@! good idea.” (#*@! – insert expletives here.) However, I remembered the advice from Headspace’s meditation and pushed these thoughts out and instead focused on a time when I had been training and enjoyed running. It worked! Suddenly I felt free, it became easier to run. Similarly not feeling I had to run the whole time really helped. Drawing from my training with the 13.1 app I knew it would be more achievable if I allowed myself one minute walking then running for as long as I could.

So, what was it like? I compare it to childbirth. People tell you how hard it is but until you experience it for yourself, you don’t really understand what it is like.

  • The worst bit – the stairs, of course. Climbing a million stairs to reach the top and see you have a billion more to go really messes with your mind.

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  • The best bit – the amazing views from the top of the stairs. When you have to stop to catch your breath it really helps to be able to look at the stunning scenery. And running through the villages with the locals cheering you on.

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  • The funniest bit – having to stop running to allow a farmer to herd his flock of sheep across your path.

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When I finished the race I was relieved it was over. As I crossed the finish line I vowed never to do it again. However by the morning I was texting my family telling them that we were ALL going to do it next year, my 9 year old son included.

Inspired by two of my friends who completed the marathon (one was the first female to finish, the other completing her first marathon just 20 minutes before the eight hour cut off time), I am seriously contemplating setting my sights on the full marathon.  All 42.1 km of it, including tackling the 7 km of stairs twice!

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Book Review

Book Review: Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer

One of his last acts was to take a picture of himself, standing near the bus under the high Alaskan sky, one hand holding his final note toward the camera lens, the other raised in a brave beatific farewell. His face is horribly emaciated, almost skeletal. But if he pitied himself in those last difficult hours – because he was so young, because he was alone, because his body had betrayed him and his will had let him down – it’s not apparent from the photograph. He is smiling in the picture, an there is no mistaking the look in his eyes: Chris McCandless was at peace, serene as a monk gone to God.

Having recently read and reviewed books about solo journeys into the wilderness, I thought I would explore a similar story that did not end so well.

Into the Wild tells the story of Chris McCandless who disappeared into the Alaskan wilderness, four months later his emaciated body was found by hunters. The author, Jon Krakauer, pieces together the years leading to Chris’s death and explores why Chris and many people like him feel compelled to leave civilization behind and to push themselves to extremes.

Understanding Chris’ motivations is much more difficult as he never clearly articulated them (and obviously he’s not around to ask). Jon delves into his reasons by speaking with family, friends, and people Chris met on the two year journey leading to his final trip to Alaska.

I’ve decided that I’m going to live this life for sometime to come. The freedom and simple beauty is too good to pass up. (Written by Chris on a postcard sent to a friend.)

To gain an insight into Chris’ mind Jon explores the experiences and stories of other  adventurers, himself included. He explains why people feel compelled to push themselves to the outer limits and how even the best prepared can find themselves in danger.

It is easy, when you are young, to believe that what you desire is no less than what you deserve, to assume that if you want something badly enough, it is your God-given right to have it. When I decided to go to Alaska that April, like Chris McCandless, I was a raw youth who mistook passion for insight and acted according to an obscure, gap-ridden logic. I thought climbing the Devils Thumb would fix all that was wrong with my life. In the end, of course, it changed almost nothing. But I came to appreciate that mountains make poor receptacles for dreams. And I lived to tell my tale.

These people journey into the wild alone because they are adventurers, physical extremists, escapees from society, romantics. They all have similarities, they are all different. They all have their reasons, sometimes knows to themselves and others, sometimes, I suspect, they don’t even know themselves.

Notably many are male, often young but not always. We know women do this too, Cheryl Strayed and Robyn Davidson for example, but they are in the minority.

What did I take from this book? Adventuring alone in the wilderness is not romantic, things can and do go wrong.  Solo journeys don’t always solve the issues you want them to. And tell someone where you are going!

I found Into the Wild an interesting read. Not just learning about Chris McCandless’ journey but also the authors, as he recognizes and accepts his own failings as an adventurer and as a writer.

“HAPPINESS IS ONLY REAL WHEN SHARED.” It is tempting to regard this latter notation as further evidence that McCandless’s long, lonely sabbatical had changed him in some significant way. It can be interpreted to mean that he was ready, perhaps, to shed a little of the armor he wore around his heart, that upon returning to civilization, he intended to abandon the life of a solitary vagabond, stop running so hard from intimacy, and become a member of the human community. But we will never know, because Doctor Zhivago was the last book Chris McCandless would ever read.

Into the Wild, Jon Krakauer, London, Pan Books, 2011, ISBN 978-0-3330-46998-2 EPUB

(Photo by Carine McCandless)

 

Book Review, Discovery

Book Review: Books I haven’t read

Most people would expect the usual practice is to review books I have read. This time I thought I’d write about a few books I haven’t read. Or to be more specific, books I’ve started reading and just haven’t been able to finish.

Being an avid reader I am quite proud of the range of books I have read. I really enjoy reading and have at times read some very unusual genres (for me); biographies of footballers (I am NOT a football fan of any code), farming manuals (thanks Dad), and Mills and Boon romances. I usually don’t give up on a book. I believe that every book has some merit and will do what I can to find it. I once decided to read Leo Tolstoy’s War and Peace. I really struggled at the start and almost gave up, then I realised that I found the War parts boring. I decided to simply skip the battles and ended up quite enjoying the book.

At the start of this sabbatical I was searching for inspiration for my own blog and started reading a few different book review blogs. In the introduction of one such blog, Life of Chaz, Chaz said that he rates the books he reviews highly because he only reviews books he finishes and he doesn’t finish books that he doesn’t like.

We all do not have the time left in our lives to finish our “To Read” pile.

This was a new concept for me but one that I have embraced during my sabbatical. There are so many options, things to do in the world. Why waste my time doing something I don’t enjoy?

So, what books haven’t I read?

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M Pirsig. It was the title that piqued my interest. It reminded me of A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian by Marina Lewycka, a book I quite enjoyed. A quick read of the blurb on the back hooked me in.

… and unforgettable narration of a summer motorcycle trip across America’s Northwest, undertaken by a father and his young son. A story of love and fear – of growth, discovery and acceptance ….

I’ve read seven chapters (about one quarter of the book) and haven’t picked it up since. Five months ago! Some parts are quite good but then the author goes off on a tangent, I’m sure to illustrate a point he is making or to prepare us for the next part. Anyway he went off on a tangent and I put down Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

Another book is The World’s Religions by Huston Smith. One of the goals of my sabbatical is to explore spirituality and gain a better understanding of what is out there. To this end I thought I’d learn about the different religions. This book was recommended by a few people online and the clincher was discovering that the author was born almost 100 years ago in the city where I now live!

I started reading with great enthusiasm. I quickly read the chapter on Hinduism. I worked my way through Buddhism. I then started reading about Confucianism, a religion I was quite interested to learn more about given I am living in China. I struggled. Honestly, it really felt like I was reading a text book and had to finish it because I was studying comparative religion at university. I reflected on this feeling and my new mantra, “Why waste my time doing something I don’t enjoy?” I haven’t read any more. To be fair, this book is used as a text book at university and maybe it is pitched at a level way beyond my ability.

The Finkler Question by Howard Jacobson. OK, I honestly chose this book because the author and I have the same surname. I started reading, I got to the fourth chapter. I really wasn’t connecting with the characters. Life is too short and there are too many books to read to waste my time reading one I’m not connecting with. I started reading something else.

Today’s life lesson is to do what you enjoy doing, to value your time and make choices that reflect this goal, even when it comes to reading books!

Finally, I’d love to hear from anyone who has read, finished and enjoyed these books. What did you discover that I didn’t?

(Photo by mvp on Unsplash)
Discovery

Seeking wholeness

There’s a sense of incompleteness in our lives…. it’s a feeling that something is wrong with us, that something is missing, or that we’re missing out on something in the world.

Since the start of my sabbatical I have been following Leo Babauta’s Zen Habits blog. A recent post of his, The Craving for Wholeness That Drives Our Actions, got me thinking about my purpose and what it was that I was seeking.

These past few months (nine, actually) I have been purposefully contemplating what matters most to me and how it dictates the direction of my time, energy and passion.

Reading Leo’s thoughts on our sense of incompleteness and our craving to find a feeling of connection and intimacy with others to fill that void, I reflected on how I had been going about this.

We wake up and immediately begin distracting ourselves, seeking something interesting, exciting, any kind of dopamine hit. We look for the convenient over the difficult, the quick and easy over struggle and meaning.

We don’t give ourselves a moment of space or quiet, filling every bit of space with videos, songs, podcasts, audio-books, short online reads, news, social media, quick tasks, messages.

I admit that I have structured my sabbatical with a carefully thought out action plan. I have goals. I have strategies. I even have a monthly timeline of tasks to achieve. But I have not considered that I need time to simply just be… To do as Leo suggests and stop for a while and allow myself to feel the discomfort and uncertainty of who I am.

The wholeness of being completely OK, no matter where we are, no matter what we’re doing. Of being absolutely in love with our experience, of not needing anything more.

Leo suggests some simple ideas on how we can find this sense of wholeness.

I highly recommend reading Leo’s post and while you’re there check out the rest of his site. It makes for some inspirational and thought-provoking reading.

 

 

Book Review

Book Review: Journeys into the wilderness

I had diverged, digressed, wandered, and become wild. Cheryl Strayed

Wild by Cheryl Strayed and Tracks by Robyn Davidson on the face of it are two quite similar books. The story of a woman leaving her old life behind to travel alone in the wilderness. However, both are also quite different which is what makes them such good reads.

Wild: A Journey from Lost to Found tells the story of Cheryl Strayed hiking 1,100 miles alone along the Pacific Crest Trail from the Mojave Desert through California, Oregon and into Washington state.

Tracks is the story of Robyn Davidson’s journey across 1,700 miles of Australian desert with four camels and a dog.

Probably not the most rational thing to do, but I think you have to be a little bit crazy to actually go out on your own and do this. Both had similar reasons for their journeys. Cheryl was quite forthright about her reasoning.

That in truth my hike on the Pacific Crest Trail hadn’t begun when I made the snap decision to do it. It had begun before I even imagined it, precisely four years, seven months and three days before when I’d stood in a little room at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, and learned that my mother was going to die. Cheryl Strayed

For Robyn you need to read more deeply to get a sense of why she was compelled to do this.

What I wanted to do, which was to be alone, to test, to push, to unclog my brain of all its extraneous debris, not to be protected, to be stripped of all social crutches, not to be hampered by any outside interference whatsoever, well meant or not. Robyn Davidson

Interestingly Robyn’s mother had also died and, while she didn’t elaborate on her death, you got the sense that her mother’s passing had impacted her and her family as much as it had Cheryl’s.

The trip reinstated a faith in myself and what I was doing. I felt calm and positive and strong, and now, instead of the trip appearing out of character, instead of worrying about whether or not it was a pointless thing to do, I could see more clearly the reasons and the needs behind it. Robyn Davidson

Unsurprisingly there were quite a few similarities in both stories. Both women were escaping society to find themselves, they encountered danger along the way, had periods of madness and times when they were perfectly happy in their aloneness. And both realized they couldn’t escape society forever.

I was beginning to understand that being alone got awfully boring sometimes, and that I needed people, wanted them. Robyn Davidson

There were also differences. Much of this was due to the location of the journey, Australia and the US, and the women’s physical distance from civilization. And the timing. Cheryl’s journey took place in the 1990’s, Robyn’s in the 1970’s. While only 20 years apart much had changed in society. Technology and the perception of women in the community both made a difference to their stories.

As an Australian, I found Robyn’s interest in and connection with indigenous Australians fascinating.

I was caught between two versions of the truth. I liked station people and know that they did not consider themselves racist. When they look at the sordid camps around town, they see only violence and dirt and the incomprehensible lack of protestant work ethic. While they usually have a patronizing respect for the older Aboriginal people, they are unable to see beyond the immediate and beyond their own values, to understand why the demise occurred and what their part in it is, either traditionally or at present. Robyn Davidson

There was very little in Wild about native Americans.

Robyn was much more prepared for her journey having spent a significant amount of time in Alice Springs, mainly learning about camels and how to handle them. Given the isolation of where she was going and how she was traveling this was unsurprisingly essential to her survival.

Cheryl had just her backpack. Robyn had four camels, and the support of National Geographic and a photographer visiting her a number of times on the way.

My hands moved to it on instinct, seeming to bypass my brain. Monster was my world, my inanimate extra limb. Through its weight and size still confounded me, I’d come come to accept that it was my burden to bear. Cheryl Strayed

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I enjoyed reading both books, in fact I have read them twice in the past 12 months and watched the movie version of Wild (and would like to see Tracks too).

At times while reading, I was frustrated by their decisions and wanted to tell them to be more logical and less impulsive. However, on reflection this is probably the reason why I would never seriously contemplate doing this myself. (Although, secretly I’d love to give it a go!)

Thank you, I thought over and over again. Thank you. Not just for the long walk, but for everything I could feel finally gathered up inside of me; for everything the trail had taught me and everything I couldn’t yet know, though I felt is somehow already contained within me. Cheryl Strayed

The two important things that I did learn were that you are as powerful and strong as you allow yourself to be, and that the most difficult part of any endeavour is taking the first step, making the decision. Robyn Davidson

Photo credits: Robyn Davidson – Rick Smolan, Cheryl Strayed – http://www.cherylstrayed.com

Wild: A Journey from Lost to Found, Cheryl Strayed, Atlantic Books, 2012,  E-book ISBN: 9780857897770

Tracks, Robyn Davidson, London, Bloomsbury, 2012, eISBN: 9781408834879

 

Discovery

Finding my strength

Last weekend I ran the furthest I have run in ten years. 14 kilometres! And in two months time, if all goes to plan, I will be participating in a half marathon on the Great Wall of China.

Ten years is a long time between runs. Especially for something that, surprisingly, I quite like doing. Why has it taken me so long to get back into it? I’d like to say it is the lack of time. Working full time. Being a mum. Who has the time to train?

However, if I am being honest with myself it is more about mental strength. Having the willpower to muster up then energy to go for a run. Working full time, raising a child, it’s mentally exhausting.

I have found the same with cooking. Pre-sabbatical we would usually eat the same six or seven meals for dinner, not because I couldn’t be bothered to cook but because I didn’t have the energy to think about what to cook. Now that my mental energy is not being drained by work, I have the strength to plan and I am enjoying cooking and trying out new recipes.

Routines, of course, help. Having your running gear ready so that when you wake in the morning you can quickly get dressed and get out helps. Or preparing meals for the week on a Sunday and freezing them. However, this still requires mental energy and after a long week of last thing I want to do is spend half of my day cooking.

So, what’s the solution? I’m not sure yet. I am trying to create new habits (see previous blog). I am meditating which, while it takes time, is really helping me to focus on one task at a time rather than multiple ones. I’m also prioritising what is important to me and learning to say no more.

It’s all a part of the journey I am on …. I’ll let you know how I go in May when I run 21 kilometres.

Book Review

Book Review: You Learn by Living by Eleanor Roosevelt

In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.

To continue my journey on reading books by women about their life and what they have learned from their experiences, I was recommended “You Learn by Living: Eleven Keys for a more Fulfilling Life” by Eleanor Roosevelt.

For those who don’t know Eleanor Roosevelt was the wife of Franklin Delano Roosevelt, the US President from 1933 until his death in 1945. Eleanor significantly redefined the role of First Lady by actively involving herself in the public sphere. Following her husband’s death she remained active in politics and served as the first Chair of the UN Commission on Human Rights. Eleanor was widely respected but was also often controversial for her outspokenness. She even occasionally publicly disagreed with her husband’s policies!

The biggest difference with the other books I have read recently was that this was written in 1960 – almost 60 years ago. While there are obvious differences in perspectives, much of what Eleanor writes about really does stand the test of time and remains true today.

Throughout the book, many instances reveal that the writing is very much a product of its time. Despite stepping beyond the role of a traditional housewife and becoming one of the few women actively involved in politics at the time, there is a sense in the book that Eleanor believes that a woman’s first role is to support her husband and children.

It has always seemed important to me that women should try to develop some interests in which their whole family can share. This is valuable all around. It intensifies family solidarity.

And when she discusses how a person can be involved in public life she always uses the male pronoun. She does however recognise that women are increasingly entering politics and gives a few words of advice.

I have been talking as though men were the only creatures to enter politics, but women are doing so increasingly, particularly in their own communities. They have some advantages and some disadvantages. They will generally find that men will tend to “keep them in their place.”

The references to Communist Russia and Eleanor’s concerns about their way of life are also an interesting read. In one chapter she encourages the reader to be an individual. “Its your life – but only if you make it so.” She then refers to conformity and Soviet training where from two months old babies go to an institute while their mother is at work. It is in this institute that the Russian child is trained to follow routines and punished if they do not.

However, much of Eleanor’s advice is as relevant today as it was in 1960. Some of the issues she discusses are so pertinent to the experiences of today that is it both frightening and amusing at the same time.

Here, perhaps, lies the key to our [the United States] growing failure to win friends abroad, though we have, in every other respect, richly earned that friendship, in money, material support, and human kindness that asks no return. We have failed only in enlightened understanding and tolerance – and respect.

Probably one of her most amusing comments was about how people can inform themselves about political issues.  (Although, I am sure that she didn’t intend it to be amusing.)

We must, for the most part, rely for much of our information on four main sources: the President of the United States, who is, or should be, the great educator of the people, bringing issues to them and explaining the situation…

Later on she refers to;

Sometimes, of course, the citizen discovers that he cannot rely on getting information from this source, even in matters that vitally concern his future and his welfare.

*chuckle* *chuckle*

Eleanor divides the book into eleven chapters, with each chapter a piece of advice on how to Learn by Living followed by examples of what she has learned in her life. I could relate to such much of her great pieces of advice that my Kindle version of the book  is full of yellow highlights.

  • Face your fears.

Courage is more exhilarating than fear and in the long run it is easier.

  • Use your time well.

Each of us has …. all the time there is. Those years, weeks, hours, are sands in the glass running swiftly away. To let them drift through our fingers is tragic waste. To use them to the hilt, making them count for something, is the beginning of wisdom.

  • Change is never-ending.

Every age, someone has said, is an undiscovered country. We are constantly advancing, like explorers, into the unknown, which makes life an adventure all the way.

  • Accept your responsibilities.

We are the sum total of the choices we have made.

For one thing we know beyond all doubt; Nothing has ever been achieved by the person who says, “It can’t be done.”

  • And, learn how to learn and continue learning throughout your life.

If you can develop this ability to see what you look at, to understand its meaning, to readjust your knowledge to this new information, you can continue to learn and to grow as long as you live and you’ll have a wonderful time doing it.

You Learn by Living: Eleven Keys for a More Fulfilling Life, Eleanor Roosevelt, New York, Harper, 1960, EPub Edition April 2011 ISBN: 9780062078506

 

 

Discovery

Kicking the habit

I have been consciously focusing on habits recently. Creating new habits and moving some on.

We all have them, some good, some bad, some we are very aware of and some we don’t even realise.

Recently I became aware of one habit I had never noticed before. The Sunday evening blues. Those of you who go to school or work Monday to Friday might know the feeling. You’ve had two days off. And sometime around 5 or 6 pm on Sunday evening the thought creeps into your head. Ergh! Work tomorrow. Bam! The Sunday evening blues have arrived. I don’t know when they started, probably some time during my school years. Ergh! School tomorrow.

But then I remembered. I don’t have work to go to tomorrow. I’m on sabbatical. In fact, Monday is a day to celebrate. The rest of the people in my household are at school or work. I have time to myself. To write. To read. This is good.

I took some time to reflect on this… How often have I got myself into the spiral of negative thoughts by succumbing to the Sunday evening blues? How does this impact my attitude at work? My approach to life? How bad is this habit, that I wasn’t even aware of? This makes biting my nails pale in comparison.

This is one habit that was easy to kick and I will intentionally not pick it up again when I return to work.

I have been following Leo Babauta’s Zen Habits blog. He has some thought provoking ideas on how to make changes in your life.

He suggests making one tiny change at a time. How often have we woken up on January 1 and said OK I’m going to get fit this year? I’m going to lose weight and eat healthy. We go for a run, throw out the chocolate and wine and buy a shopping trolley full of fruit and veg. This lasts a week, a month or so. Then life gets in the way. You have to stay late at work a few nights. You have a big weekend of partying. The weather gets cold. And suddenly you have stopped running, and the cupboard is full of chocolate and wine. And you give up for another year.

Leo’s advice is to start with one small achievable action. Aim to walk twice a week, have wine free weekdays. Just one thing. It will be more achievable. And once you have successfully kicked one habit you are more likely to be successful the next time.

After all, habits such as the Sunday evening blues have likely been with you for a long time.

(Photo by sydney Rae on Unsplash)